Haiku Ambulance | ☞ {an historical tour de force, grilled to perfection}
So, this guy got up super early this morning without me to watch the sport event that everyone is really excited about.
He’s my photgrapher, so that’s why you haven’t seen me around today.
The poor guy is still stuck at work (…aaannd the Sun is going down) so I thought I would fish through my camera and see what I could find for you.
Consider it a mix of Christina’s About Me post today (which is one of the most awesome things EVER) and the horrible bloops I showed you yesterday.
Here are some completely random images, in no particular order, with little to no relation at all except for the fact that they’re in my camera.
Let’s see what we got!
This is a wooden stretcher that we found by the trash. It. Is. Awesome.
This is obviously our cat Duncan.
I’ve managed to carry this photo with me all the way from Tampa.
First, the guy was like, “Damn dude, it is way too hot here in Florida. I think I’ll make some sweet cut-offs. Out of my swwwweatpants.”
And so he did.
Then one night he was like, “Well damn dude, since I look so good in my sweat-offs I think I’ll go to the bar and try to chase some tail. Think I’ll wear it with my cut-off shirt. Tuck it in, you know.”
And then dude was like,
“I don’t know man, those shorts you made seriously give you the most disgusting Moose knuckle that I have ever seen.”
But he did it anyway.
On a much less gross note, this is a picture I took of my favorite cloud.
Mr. Cirrocumulus.
Once upon a time I found John Kerry in a claw machine at Perkins.
He and his Sugar Daddy lived happily ever after.
The end.
I have a very nasty habit of balling up napkin bits at bars, and then organizing them by size.
My friend Billy is showcasing this for you.
This is a bench that was at a busy intersection in Tampa.
I never understood it.
Maybe it’s the secret of the Universe.
Hey! This is Billy! From like two seconds ago, remember?
Tell me this isn’t fucking amazing.
This happened outside of a restaurant I worked in.
Wow.
ONE TIME, Ryan (aka this guy) got drunk, so I T.P.’d him.
Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
Ha.
And I used to have black hair.
So there.
Oh yeah, and this is going to be picture heavy.
It is my grand pleasure to announce the winner of the Modcloth Name It and Win It Roadtrip Edition.
After much internal debate, many giggles, several “aw’s”, and even a few head-scratches….
The winner is:
MANDI
with:
“Cute as a Nugget Dress”
Congratulations!
I thought the name was wildly clever, I loved the reference and knew that non-locals would get it, too.
I mean seriously, that dress is so stinkin’ cute it’s ridiculous.
Well done Miss Mandi.
And a bit of an EDIT: a la calivintage here are some of the honorable mentions:
Crunchy Granola Dress- this was (and no offense to Mandi) my true favorite. By far the most hilarious and related, but it had zero to do with the dress
Pike’s Peekaboo Dress: the dress is a bit risqué just in the way that I fit in it, so this was awesome.
Meet Me at Sakura Square Dress: Sakura Square is a great Japanese Market down the street from me, but again just not quite about the dress. But adorable.
LoDorable Dress: I actually live in LoDo (Lower Downtown) so this was a definite runner up. I just worried no one would get it because the fact that we even call it LoDo is just another blatant SoHo rip off, and almost every town has their own version. So I just wasn’t sure if it would scream Denver to non-locals….
So just to shed a little light on my thoughts behind my choice, I chose Cute as a Nugget because:
I love the phrase ‘cute as a button’ and think it is greatly underused.
While according to many commenters on Modcloth this is a Basketball reference, that’s not what I had in mind.
Growing up here as a kid, you are very aware of Colorado’s gold mining history. Field trips to gold mines, panning for gold in the creek, seeing the remnants of the mine tracks that wind up the canyons and lead to weathered, abandoned mines in the mountain face. After you pass through Golden (the town that the Coors Beer Factory is in. Which, if you missed it is a town. Named Golden. Get it?), you wind up the canyon and if you hit it at the right time you will see the Sun hitting bits of gold in the mountains shining like little flashing bulbs.
I mean, obviously we call our team the Nuggets for a reason, right guys…? I just thought it was a very rich reference (no pun intended) that actually dates to the beginning of Denver history. How could you be more precise?! I found it nostalgic, thoughtful, and really fun to say out loud! Say it!
So folks, that is the story of the Cute as a Nugget Dress.
And a great big gigantic Panda Hug to Modcloth for including me in the amazing contest.
So, it is a very frequent occurrence that I spend my lunch hour thrifting.
My favorite thrift store is about 8 minutes from my work so that just works out perfectly now doesn’t it?
However, I never take pictures in the thrift store.
Until today.
I’ve seen this broken vase there the last few trips I’ve made.
But no one was standing over it going, “WTF? Who broke this vase?!”
I LOL’d.
…
Next, I saw a glimpse into the future.
A sad glimpse.
I collect skunks, and it’s a hobby that I much enjoy.
I have maybe a dozen or so at this point- some of which I saw on these shelves.
Then I saw what a thrift store looks like after someone like me dies:
Um.
So, these all obviously came from some old lady who had thousands of skunks.
You know it’s bad when the thrift store has to bag them up by the bundle.
You can see two bags of mini skunks in this photo.
There were 3 more bags on the other side.
And one of these:
That’s obviously not how I like collecting things (buying them by the lot…), but I did snag one bag of miniature guys that are probably all broken anyway.
So I just found this whole situation to be extremely bizarre, a little sad, and considerably hilarious.
I hope you did too.
{UPDATE: This look was featured on Weardrobe!}
OK.
So it’s Thursday- which is great because that means tomorrow is Friday.
Another fairly fast week I’d say.
Again, I am extremely overdressed for the weather.
I just so much more prefer wearing pants than wearing skirts.
And I just wear shorts all the time.
And seriously- for some reason it was literally nearly impossible to take photos this morning.
Why?
I don’t know.
But they pretty much all came out looking like absolute garbage.
So bad in fact, that I went in, changed my shoes and started over.
And they still pretty much suck.
I need a vacation.
Bottom Up:
JC pumps: Lorisshoes
White jeans: Forever21
Blouse: Thrifted
Suspenders: Thrifted
…
And you guys are just so awesome and nice.
I know that you will all be super lovely and say really nice things about my photos anyway.
And you honestly probably won’t see what I’m talking about, and then you’ll think I’m either full of shit or just bat shit crazy.
SO
a la Merl, I will show you some bloopers.
Not that I am snagging her steez (I’m not snagging your steez!), but the proof is in the pudding.
So friends, here’s some pudding:
Trippy, right?
For some reason (and yes, I know this one isn’t that bad) this pose is one of the hardest things for my body to wrap its brain around.
Balance: thrown.
So, sometimes I just kind of start falling in super-slow motion like the Tin Man- but today folks- TODAY it was caught on camera for you to enjoy!
Brilliant.
I don’t even know.
But see? I told you I changed my shoes.
Jazzercise.
No.
That’s just me, Zoë who can’t even take a photo without losing balance and buckling at the knees.
Amazing.
AND
Last but most certainly not least is:
the face that I apparently make after trying to burn straight through my eye holes by looking at that goddamn Sun of a bitch.
Beautiful.
I hope you enjoyed this
because I definitely did not.
AW YEAAAAA.
My sista from anutha mista, Merl has been featured for the Weardrobe Spotlight!
She is the cow’s tits and I love her to bits.
Her arsenal of classic basics and killer footwear are literally to-die-for, and her eye for proportion and creating an incredible, feminine silhouette is unmatched.
And, she makes the coolest jewelry the internet has ever seen.
I wish I could carry her around in my pocket all day long, but I can’t.
So her spotlight will just have to do.
Congrats my lady.
Yow, mama.
High of 89˚.
And for those of you who got the deets from the tweet:
These are the glorious Wayfarers I found yesterday for all of $2.99.
Word to your mother.
But they must have just the slightest Rx because while taking these photos, my depth perception was completely thrown and I felt like I was wading in water {the water obviously being the gray roof-top}.
I imagine that makes absolutely no sense.
But I felt like I was somehow lower than the ground.
And folks, I think I may have also found {yesterday} the right obi belt.
I’ve been looking for ages and finally found this red leather one, but it’s just a bit loud for my taste.
Gray cotton is the way to go.
Fo sho.
And holy smokes guys I found this shirt yesterday too!
I only got like 3 or 4 things, but they were good items.
Sometimes I come home with a bag of garbage, so this kind of maybe negated at least one garbage day.
And I also want you to know that you should be thrilled that you don’t have to be the one to clean all of this grease out of my hair later.
Murray’s is awesome.
But Murray’s is also fucking disgusting.
Bottom Up:
Shoes: Macys
Skirt: Thrifted
Blouse: Thrifted
Belt: Thrifted
Ray Bans: Thrifted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
{UPDATE: This look was featured on Weardrobe!}
This skirt was part of the massive loot that came from the Salvation Army in Boulder.
It is wondrous.
And I can only imagine how many times you’re going to see it.
It’ll be like reruns of Saved by the Bell. But much better.
And I have to say that I was thrilled to see that yesterday…. {drumroll, please}….
Bolomania grew by one.
Miss Barefoot and Vintage not only joined the bandwagon, but managed to completely knock me and my bolo-wearing ass out. of. the. water.
And, still dealing with the aftermath of my emotions since the ending of LOST–
I have to say that the blow has been lessened by none other than Last Comic Standing.
Whoddathunk it?
But seriously, I am officially in love with Fortune Feimster. And although the auditions have just begun- I am totally rooting for her all the way.
And as web-savvy as I may claim to be- YouTube isn’t my strong suit, but if you care to: I highly recommend watching anything she’s done.
But especially the bit about coming out of the closet.
I wake up in the middle of the night laughing about it.
And just a few more things before I leave you be.
First, thanks for all the book recommendations!
Second, do you think it would hold up in court that a Billboard could have been the reason I {didn’t, but almost} mowed over an old lady in the middle of the road?
So, there was this Billboard that was half covered by trees, so all I could see was what looked a T-Rex jaw fossil, but upon further inspection was cleverly arranged ice-cream cones?
I rubbernecked to see what it said, passed it in a blur and realized that there was an elderly woman {verrrry slowly} putting her jacket on outside of the passenger side of the car. On a road that has barely enough room not to pop off everyones side mirrors in the first place?
Get out of the road!
And don’t make Billboards that take more than 0.12 seconds to get the gist of.
Geeez.
Bottom Up:
Shoes: Payless
Skirt: the Army of Salvation
Tank: Targ
Cardi: Targi
Bolo: Thrifted
Belt: Thrifted
{UPDATE: This look was featured on Weardrobe!}
Another lovely weekend has passed.
On Saturday, this guy had to go to Boulder (my true hometown) for some business, so I got to troll around and go places like Savers! Salvation Army! This awesome place downtown called Vintage Goldmine! And American Apparel (even though we have one in Denver)!
It was amazing.
I was bummed out though because I have been dying for the new AA Riding Pants, but after putting them on- it was a big fat no.
Which made me sad.
But I got these in two colors instead and told the Riding Pants to suck it.
And then last night we did a little birthday shindig for our ladybirdfriend Lindsey.
Which obviously involved a trip to Steuben’s.
And then we did an
E X T R E M E C L O S E – UP B E C A U S E I T ‘ S M O N D A Y A N D T H A T S U C K S !!!
Bottom Up:
Jeffrey Campbell pumps: Lorisshoes
High-waisted Leggings: AA
Brown Button Up: Salvation Army or Savers in Boulder
Blazer: Urban Outfitters
Earrings: Urban Outfitters
Anyone read any good books lately, or what?
{UPDATE: This look was featured on Weardrobe!}
I’d say the week went by pretty fast.
That is something I will never complain about.
And we have a perfect 72˚ forecast today.
Leading into what is said to be a cold and rainy weekend.
I am totally fine with that.
Um. And I’m also really happy about all of the positive feedback about my wiggery.
I think I just might go for it.
But I also think I might actually just go for a hair cut.
It is truly, madly, deeply: ridiculous.
Also, I am really fucking comfortable today.
So I got that going for me.
Before I break it down, I just have to say it is so strange how like, “lots” of stuff will appear at certain times.
Like, I have found this exact same belt in black, red, mint, and white at different thrifts recently (sometimes duplicates!)- like, does it mean that all of the women who wore this like just died? Or they have been dead for ages, but collectively all of their surviving kin were like, “I can’t stand it any longer- if I have to look at one of those canvas belts ONE MORE TIME, I swear to God!!!”
I don’t know. It’s just strange how things come in waves and groups and seem to create their own collection within a collection.
Bottom Up:
Gloria Vanderbilt Pumps: Thrifted
Gap Trou: Thrifted
Gap Shirt (ah, interesting!): Thrifted
Head scarf: Thrifted
Belt: Thrifted
And with that friends, I bid you all the most wonderfully amazing weekends you could ever dream of.
